Sunday, February 9

 
to gore verbinksi, director of the ring:

please consider this correspondence my request for a personal apology. yesterday evening i went to view your recent terror flick at a dollar theater, and i feel that i was grossly overcharged. the two hours i spent in front of the nonsensical filth you dare to call a film left me not only bewildered but also, quite frankly, angry. i imagine your rebuttal will be that responsibility in this matters lies with me; after all, i willingly submitted myself to a production with the tagline, "did she show you the horses?" i concede on this point; however, i return that i could never honestly have been expected to predict that such a movie would be dominated by scenes of equestrian suicide. i ask that next time you feel the urge to spew forth such horror upon the world, you instead hit yourself repeatedly in the face with a brick.

yours sincerely,
ms. shannon l. mchugh
posted by from shannon at 1:15 AM