Saturday, December 28

 
i'm cleaning out my email. here are some things i've found:

to the usc helenes (my all-female service organization) listserv:
Hi Ladies,
For the past couple of weeks I have been enjoying all of you cheerfull email banter. Every morning when I check my mail there are like 12 new messages (new messages give me a warm happy feeling) from you all talking to each other, sharing stories and making requests. Today I realized that I am not supposed to be getting these messages and it has been rude of me to be reading them. I do not know how I got on this email list, especially since I am a guy, but it is all good. So I am going to humbly request to be removed from this list so I can stop invading y'alls privacy. You all seem like really nice people and I hope that all goes well got y'all.
Effrem Plotkin Phillips

from lindy on the happiest death camp on earth:
Here's what a french theorist had to say about disneyland:

The contrast of Disneyland, a phantasmagoria of inherent warmth and affection of the crowd and a sufficiently excessive number of gadgets, with the absolute solitude of the parking lot -- a veritable concentration camp -- is total.

wow. a veritable concentration camp. I mean clearly the parking lot seems a bit gloomy compared to space mountain, but nazi germany?

from the un-boyfriend (as my family has taken to calling him; i'm taken by it because i feel it appropriately defines our shallow and mutually convenient relationship) on our romantic life:
Listening to Jim Rome again this morning, said something that made me think of you...

"If you're using the NBA on ESPN as an excuse not to have sex you're at least 1. a loser, or 2. Bill Clinton"

Which one are you Shannon?

"ve are russian; ve do not mind taking over ze vord-of-ze-day listserv vith our useless communist jargon":
ukase \yoo-KAYS; -KAYZ; YOO-kays; -kayz\, noun:
1. In imperial Russia, a published proclamation or order
having the force of law.
2. Any order or decree issued by an authority; an edict.

note: what the hell?!? i signed up to learn words like nugatory and edacious, not ruble and anastasia.

from old high school friends:
at any rate, thanks for the new address, and no, I don't go to the desert unless someone is dying or getting married, and really what's the difference?

bartering one's way into usc:
(my original email to josh)
> weird. there is a family sitting here in the admission office
> discussing moving to a cashless society. it made me think of you.

the response
neat. tell them not to lose hope and that eventually the rest of world will be crawling at our cashless feet
posted by from shannon at 12:34 AM

Wednesday, December 25

 
my bad girl alias is despelote bellini.
posted by from shannon at 12:59 AM

Tuesday, December 24

 
first of all, lindy is a bitch. see last blog update for proof. i'll get you for this if it's the last thing i do!

also, i'm looking at my last real post (from nine days ago - eek) and evaluating my experiment in subheadings. it's sort of nice but frankly i don't think i have the energy to be extra clever all the time (case in point: this website as a whole.)

what i do have the energy for: christmas. hooray for holidays spent with loved ones. tonight my older brother, my sister-in-law and the twins joined our standard foursome for christmas dinner. my siblings and i had an especially nice bonding moment over beauty and the beast (everyone else was in the kitchen, even the two terrorsb [as i lovingly refer to them], eating crayons or their own boogers or each other's boogers, i believe.) we're at the end of the film and my 28-year-old brother is obviously tearing up, when my younger brother insensitively blurts out, " thought the spell had to be broken by a kiss." without pause my older brother indignantly returns, "they have to love each other." the resulting awkward silence and crestfallen look on my younger brother's face as he observed his once-macho idol was the best christmas present any sister could ask for.

another thing i like about christmas is all the movies. despite the fact that my mother and my emasculated father enthusiastically enjoy the made-for-lifetime christmas films (side note: why do they all star gregory harrison? he looks like the lovechild of dave koz and a hobbit), we still get in a good amount of miracle on 34th street, it's a wonderful life and my new favorite christmas movie, nightmare before christmas. i know some of you are going to say that last one isn't a christmas film at all, and to you i say, sucks to your asthmar. my brother just brought home the special edition dvd on that one and we've been having a grand holiday time - i think i've watched it no less than five full times in the past two weeks. i've decided that 1) stop animation is really hard, 2) i want to change my major to puppetry, and 3) jack and sally's love story is quite possibly the most touching one i've ever seen.

but no yule in this household would be complete without the traditional viewing of chevy chase's christmas vacation. i can never really get into the christmas spirit until i've watched my dad clutch his side and snicker, "the shitter's full."

hallelujah. holy shit.
posted by from shannon at 11:30 PM