Friday, August 9

 
one nice thing about the cheerleaders staying here is that it gives me reason to toss around such sentences as the following (about me trying to get to the bathroom to brush my teeth):

"i have to race through a gauntlet of lounging cheer sluts."
posted by from shannon at 12:12 AM

Thursday, August 8

 
the r.a. training has officially begun. so far so good - mostly getting-to-know-you stuff as opposed to let's-all-talk-about-diversity-and-cry-and-maybe-some-can-come-out-of-the-closet stuff. that stuff is my least favorite.

as i settle into my room i'm liking it more and more. it's really beginning to look more like a bedroom and less like a bomb shelter. i like that.

in sad news the r.a. meal plan has been changed this year. instead of having a more or less open account, which could be used at any of the fine eateries at this institution (such as wolfgang puck's or betty crocker), we have been put on a plan which forces us to eat all but exclusively at evk, our cafeteria. and let me assure you that the students haven't nicknamed it "evil voodoo kitchen" for nothing. last night was my first meal there, and in a bitter joke on my digestive system, i decided to celebrate the occasion in "go big or go home" fashion. so instead of playing it safe with a salad or sandwich, i went straight for the entree of the night: the seafood fiesta. i had to stop eating after too bites, however, because swimming in that gumbo-y mess with my shrimp were the sole of a boot and what could only have been a whale's blowhole.

i won't have any residents for two more weeks, but in an odd turn of events some cheerleaders have moved onto my floor. they are here for cheer camp and i've started off on a good foot by asking them what high school they go to (answer: sierra college. fuck me.) at least it makes things interesting as there is life on the floor and it seems that, from what i can tell from behind my closed door, one of them keeps running down the hall at full speed and smacking into the door at the end of it. also, i have heard the words "cheertator" and "dykadelic" in the past half hour alone, so i think we will get along just fine.
posted by from shannon at 10:12 AM

Monday, August 5

 
gross joe quote of the day (in response to a co-worker relating a resident's [we work in an apartment complex] request for early checkin): "only if she has sex with sean. so she better wash."
posted by from shannon at 2:16 PM

 
i checked into my ra room today.

good god.

i forgot what dorm rooms look like. the bare brick walls and threadbare mattress make me nostalgic for the better days of inquisition dungeons. the exposed pipes would make a projects tenant cringe.

even more arresting was the march out of the building, past all those doors. all those doors soon to be filled with residents. all those girls blaring bbmak, pasting up hayden christiansen posters, crying about giving blowjobs to frat boys who never call back. i was momentarily struck blind with terror at the thought of the absolute madness i have gotten myself into.

the light at the end of the tunnel: freshman boys surrounding me on the floors above and below. me in the middle of a freshman boy sandwich. must stay focused on that.
posted by from shannon at 2:11 PM