Thursday, June 20

 
i'm about to literally* burst** with trojan pride.

we've long been misjudged as a university. it's not easy to defend the school you love when attention is ruthlessly drawn to its most deplorable characteristics: our malicious discrimination as we unfairly continue to raise our admissions standards; the regrettable plight of being named 2000 school of the year; our embarassing jockhead devotion to athletics (can't a year go by when we don't produce an NCAA championship team?)

but today, the tide changed. today, finally, we are getting the recognition that we deserve.

i believe this article says it all.


*i really do know how to use the word literally. it was just a joke.
**i also know not to split infinitives, but i like to do so anyway in the hopes that it will annoy my english my major friends. i'm happiest when i'm literally driving them nuts.
posted by from shannon at 1:45 PM

Tuesday, June 18

 
in my neverending attempts to undermine my good friend lindy, i am going to take advantage of her exhaustion/illness after this weekend's las vegas trip to write first about our wet & wild weekend.

(side note: lindy and i both caught colds this weekend while we were at vegas [what can we say, your immune system suffers when you are up gambling and dancing until dawn - we are so cool]. that's right, colds. and yet she keeps referring to hers as "the illness", as if it is something so grave as typhoid or scurvy.)

the weekend to end all weekends began thursday afternoon when we all abandoned work mid-afternoon to get on the road to sin city. we checked into our unostentatious hotel, the aladdin, and then had a few drinks and burgers with my parents. it was a pretty mild night, though. janelle only dropped about a hundred bucks and lindy lost a pair of panties somewhere, but other than that we were very tame.

friday consisted of an overpriced breakfast, hours lounging out by the pool, some more fruity drinks, and a tour of the hotel's spa (we classy ladies only went for the advertised free wine and cheese.) that night we joined up with my sister-in-law torri, her sister (who was coincidentally getting hitched vegas-style that same weekend) and some of the bride-to-be's friends to check out a club. that was a great night. thanks to lindy's pool slick skills and janelle's nice rack, we got some free drinks and met some nice people. my favorite was the guy who kept putting his glass to my bare arm and making sizzling noises. the only near-disaster of that night occurred when we got there. torri's cousin was a bouncer at the club and he promised to get us in. but he wasn't the only bouncer out there: one of the other guys was a midget in white coat and tails. anyone who knows me should know one of my greatest fears is midgets. sorry, hate me all you want, but it's the truth. so, torri's cousin said that we could all come in free if we kissed the midget (i'm sure he called the guy buy his real name, not "the midget".) i figured he said it in jest, but the first girl actually does it (i feel that i should mention that she was a crazy tramp; in the words of my quite reserved sister, "a high-priced hooker".) i try to hide my mounting panic, but feel my skin breaking out into a sweat and my eyes welling with tears. just as i was on the verge of running back to the safety of the nickel slots, the second girl passes through the line without touching the little guy, and i began to breathe again. i even said "thanks" as i passed by.

and now i must cut this short because i am off to the happiest place on earth. oh, the trying life of a college student. never fear, i will recount the wildness of the last days soon.
posted by from shannon at 12:16 PM