Wednesday, November 28

 
it happened again yesterday that someone mistook me for a midwesterner. what is this madness? though i have lived in the southern california desert my whole life, i apparently have this mysterious midwestern accent. i say my a's funny. i can't explain it. i've never even visited the midwest. can you pick up accents through osmosis? because my ex-boyfriend and still friend is from chicago, and my high school best friend was from the midwest. or maybe we from the heart of the desert have some kind of esoteric accent that just resembles that of the midwesterner. the only other option i can think of is that i had a secret brain transplant while i was asleep.

speaking of brain transplants, there is a freaky new video on mtv2 that i saw with my australian friend josh. it is by basement jaxx and it takes place in a lab where they are conducting brain switches between little monkeys and men (normal-sized men, not little ones - just little monkeys). then the monkeys have the facial features of the band members. so think of a monkey with human face features. not like planet of the apes - those were still monkey-looking, they could just talk, thus not nearly as scary. these are little monkeys with big human-like eyes and human lips and stuff. then the monkeys with faces chase a man through the lab, in what i can assume is only a race to eat his brain. holy crap, it was horrible.

speaking of things that are horrible, my friend janelle just called. she is horrible because she just called to freak me out, because she wanted me to turn on a show she just found that relates to my greatest fear. heights, you may ask? spiders? closed spaces? no, i will respond. midgets. midgets. i hate them. and she found a dating show for them. a pageantry flaunting their scary freakishness.

they just terrify me. i didn't know about this fear until my freshman year of college, when i was watching my favorite show, road rules, and they had to do a wrestling challenge. each player had to spin a wheel and wrestle whomever it landed on - a professional wrestler, each other, etc. well, one of the girls spun two midgets. i was forced to watch in abject horror as this poor girl was teased and knocked down and beat the crap out of by two horrible midgets in spandex. oh god. it was a nightmare. since then they are a serious fear of mine. i know how un-p.c. that is, and i don't care. yuck. i even freaked out when i found out that elijah wood plays some kind of small creature in elijah's movie next month. but my friends convinced me that his body is all in proportion, so i think it will be fine.

on one final note, someone said something really cool to me yesterday. he said i was one of the quirkiest people he knew. well, that just made my day.

and with no further ado, i bid you farewell.
posted by from shannon at 10:26 AM

Tuesday, November 27

 
i'm at my last day of internship and i just wanted to post this little blurb because it made me laugh:

GREEN DAY: Is Punk Rock the Antidote?
Massachusetts police yesterday foiled a plot by three teenagers to massacre fellow high school students in a Columbine-like attack. Green Day bassist Mike Dirnt - recalling an incident earlier this year at a San Diego high school, where a student wounded 10 in a shooting spree - says if these kids were into punk instead of angry, hate-filled music, they might not go on such rampages. "You just don't see a lot of punk-rock kids doin' stuff like that," Dirnt says.
posted by from shannon at 11:30 AM